I'm not sure what it is about October, but each year I find it filled with a month of facing demons. Whilst it now seems like this has been brewing for a long time, I've come to the realization that I have this thing where I never feel I've actually accomplished anything, as if what I've done is not good enough. From work, to blogging to even my make-up, I'm often left thinking hmm, it's ok, it will do. Not yes, I've done something amazing here. The sad truth is too, I think the vast majority of people experience this in their own way. This month I've really noticed the effects of this, and how it makes every day appear to be a bit blah unless you have something unusual planned. So my plan to combat this? Be more reflective. Appreciate the starting point, the period of time that's passed, all the lesson's learnt and remember that just because I've not achieved the same thing someone else has, doesn't mean my achievement is any less. Someone going down a different route to me doesn't mean my route is wrong.
So what else happened this month? Apart from spending 4 hours in car just to go through Blackpool Illuminations (essential a stretch of a couple miles of the same fairy lights that are hung every year), I've been recovered from the flu, which if I'm being honest completely knocked me for 6.
Things I've learnt this month:
- People say the British like to queue. It's a vicious rumor. 4 hours to sit and look at colored light bulbs is enough to make you hysterical.
- I own far too many books. I have piles and piles of books I want to read but haven't had a chance to because I've been so busy. Now is the chance.
- Sometimes people do change. A tricky one but often true.
- Ed Sheeran is my idea of the perfect man. He can sing. He can dance. He's ginger. Need I say more.
- When you know work is one degree warmer than LA (OK so LA at 9am), you know your counting down the days to your USA trip a bit too much.